


My Own Destiny

by Ilovethings_somuch



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Sebastian Stan - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Let's play a game called how many times can I type Sebastian in one sitting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 07:14:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13899009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilovethings_somuch/pseuds/Ilovethings_somuch
Summary: This is a little bit angsty and I’m not sorry about it. I got this idea partially from Sebastian talked about how he gets really emotionally unavailable in relationships and also from watching The Greatest Showman and specifically the song Rewrite The Stars. I tried my best to keep the reader ambiguous so that everyone can relate.





	My Own Destiny

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little bit angsty and I’m not sorry about it. I got this idea partially from Sebastian talked about how he gets really emotionally unavailable in relationships and also from watching The Greatest Showman and specifically the song Rewrite The Stars. I tried my best to keep the reader ambiguous so that everyone can relate.

Sebastian and I have been friends for a long time now. We met through mutual friends and sort of hit it off; in a totally platonic sort of way. That is until both of us ended up being single at the same time and my feelings started to change. It seemed like he was changing too, but every time I tried to hint about going on a date or something he would completely change the subject. After weeks of this, I decided I have had enough and it was time for a serious conversation. He invited me over so we can catch up on our favorite shows together while he’s home and I have a plan. Or, more of a promise to myself. I’m not going to leave his apartment until we have a real conversation about where we were going with our relationship.

Things are going well, we’re 4 episodes deep in Game of Thrones before we decide it’s time for a break and some food. I hadn’t realized how cuddled together we were until it was time to get up and I find myself practically laying on top of Sebastian. Both of us end up laughing at my failed attempts to untangle myself from the blankets. Eventually, Sebastian is able to help me and we’re both free. Though, with the lack of a distraction, I find my face heating up as I recall the constant contact we had just been in. I’m just about to bring it up when Sebastian claps his hands together and starts talking about what we should eat. I let him go with it, telling myself that I’ll bring it up later.

Later comes a lot later than I had anticipated. It’s like Sebastian knows when I’m about to say something and manages to start talking about something else just in time. After about the fifth time of him changing the subject, I crack.

“Can we just talk about this, please?” I finally ask.

“Talk about what?” he plays innocent and my glare doesn’t seem to crack him.

“You know that I like you, it’s not something I’ve been trying to hide. So how come sometimes it seems like you feel the same way and other times it’s like you can’t even be near me?” I wait for him to respond, but after a few beats of silence, I continue. “You can’t say that it’s poor timing or we come from different worlds. We’ve been making that work as friends for years and this is the first time we’ve been single at the same time. There’s no reason we can’t be more than friends. Unless you don’t want to be more…” I trail off as that thought settles in.

“I’m not trying to run away from you, I just” he starts before pausing again. I sit back in my chair and cross my arms, content to sit and wait for him to collect his thoughts. “It’s not that I don’t want to be with you, I do-”

“You do?” I interrupt, his confession making me lean forward in my seat.

“Yes, but,” he continues and I can’t help but reprimand myself for getting my hopes up. Of course, there’s a but. “Us, being us while we’re inside is one thing. It’s completely different to be in a relationship in this world, in my world. You know there are people out there that are going to try and tear us apart”

“So let them try” I take his hands in mine to try to show how serious I am, but he just shakes his head. “Why does it matter what they think? If you really want to be with me it shouldn’t matter.”

“But it does matter,” his voice finally reaches above a whisper and for the first time, I actually think I’m losing him. “The world I live in, because of the job I have, means that it matters what people think of me. I can’t just block that out like you seemingly can.”

“You think I can block them out? Have you seen the stuff people say whenever I post a picture with you?” I know he has. We’ve talked about it and he’s told me to ignore it time and time again. But sometimes I can’t help myself and I find myself scrolling through page after page of disgusting comments.

“But you’re still here,” he says as if that means I don’t care what people say.

“You’re right, but I’m here because you’re my best friend. I’m not going to let some rude people get in the way of that, but if you aren’t willing to do the same then maybe I should just leave.” I go to stand but as soon as I do Sebastian grabs my hands and pulls me back down beside him.

“No, please. I don’t know that we can be more, but I don’t want to lose you all together.” His eyes never leave mine as he talks and I can see the emotion welling up in them. I’m not sure if it’s the right thing to do or not, but I can’t help myself as I pull him into a hug.

“You’re not going to lose me. I’m your friend first and foremost. I’m sorry I thought we could be more to each other, it was a stupid thought.”

“Hey, no it wasn’t stupid. You know I wish it could work, but it just won’t”

“What if it could,” I sigh and rest my head on his chest. It’s not really a question, more of a wistful thought that gets me through the night. He automatically puts his arms around me and lays his head on top of mine. Being so close to him makes my brain start reeling again and before I have time to stop them, more words come tumbling out, “I really thought you could be the one.” I feel him tense at my words and instantly wish I could take them back. “I just mean, you keep saying that it would never work, but not because of us. It’s always because of the world and how your world is set up. But, what if we could change that”

“I don’t think it’s something we can just change,” he gives me an apologetic look as he pushes a piece of hair out of my face before cupping my cheek.

“I don’t mean literally change the way Hollywood works. I just mean if we can be confident and together, then who are they to say we aren’t meant to be. Don’t we make our own destiny?” He shakes his head but I continue. “Sebastian, you’re my destiny. I get to decide that. We get to decide that, not your work, not your fans, not anyone else. Just us.”

“You sound so confident, and us does sound pretty nice,” he smiles.

“So say we can try, please?”

“Okay,” he agrees and I can’t stop myself from launching into his arms. I end up sort of tackling him on the couch, but his tight hold around my waist tells me that he doesn’t mind. “Just one thing.”

“What?” I lean back from him to skeptically look at his face. He takes the moment I’m caught off guard to roll over so he’s hovering inches from my face.

“We’re going to do more than try” He grins before leaning down to kiss me.


End file.
